STRENGTH IN SILENCE
Mrs. Pat Mearns, Air Force spouse
Mrs. Kathy Ensch, Navy spouse
Mrs. Pat Mearns, the wife of MIA/KIA Air Force Major Arthur Mearns, and Mrs. Kathy Ensch, the wife of Navy POW Capt. Jack Ensch, were military spouses during the Vietnam War. During that era, military and government officials advised spouses to maintain a low profile on the POW/MIA issue and to refrain from publicly discussing the status of their husbands.
Despite this, Mrs. Mearns and Mrs. Ensch became active members of the National League of POW/MIA Families, an organization of Vietnam-era POW/MIA spouses advocating for their husbands, whether they were held captive or had uncertain fates. The League unofficially began in the late 1960s in the home of Mrs. Sybil Stockdale, the wife of Navy Admiral Jim Stockdale, who was the highest-ranking prisoner at the Hanoi Hilton POW camp. Initially, the group functioned as an informal support system, much like the "squadron coffees" I attended in my early years as an Air Force spouse.
After her husband was shot down, Mrs. Mearns relocated with her two daughters from Japan to California to live with her parents. It was then that she began attending meetings at Mrs. Stockdale’s home. Mrs. Mearns described herself as a young, naive woman at the time, seeking guidance from fellow military spouses as she struggled to cope with her situation. Mrs. Stockdale defied Navy protocol by inviting the wives of local Coronado POW/MIAs to join the group. As the women shared their stories and grief, they began seeking answers. They wrote letters to military and government officials, requesting information and calling for the American public to be informed about the plight of their husbands.
As the number of POW/MIAs increased, so did the number of spouses joining the League. These women realized that by banding together, they had more power and support. While the largest groups were in Coronado and Virginia Beach, military spouses were soon meeting all over the country. They worked tirelessly—writing letters, making phone calls, and traveling back and forth between Virginia Beach and Coronado to meet with government officials in Washington, D.C. Armed with clipboards, they walked the halls of Congress, speaking on behalf of their husbands. They also met with officials at the Pentagon to seek updates and letters from their husbands.
The women even traveled to Paris, where the Peace Talks were being held, in the hopes of meeting with Vietnamese officials to advocate for the humane treatment of POWs. Mrs. Mearns, one of the first five spouses to make the trip, asked for an official list of POW/MIAs. It had been years since her husband was shot down and seen with an open parachute, but there had been no further communication about his status. The League members continued to travel to Paris and other countries with their children, advocating for their husbands and fathers.
The first news article about the POW/MIA issue was published in 1968, marking a major victory for the spouses and further energizing their efforts to speak for their husbands. In a letter from her POW husband, Mrs. Stockdale learned that the conditions in which he was held were far worse than both the U.S. and Vietnamese governments had claimed. Determined to expose the truth, she and a few other spouses worked with Naval intelligence to send coded messages to their husbands held at the Hanoi Hilton. They knew the risks—if their captors discovered the codes, their husbands could be killed. A single red rose on a letter indicated that it contained an encrypted message. Husbands were instructed to soak the special paper in water to reveal the hidden communication, and the messages were passed from cell to cell via Morse code.
Mrs. Stockdale and others waited seven years for their husbands to return. For spouses like Mrs. Mearns, the wait for answers stretched on even longer. She clung to the hope that her husband was among the POWs. The original painting of "The Letter," which depicts the two daughters of Col. and Mrs. Mearns writing a letter to God praying for their father’s return, now hangs in the National Museum of the United States Air Force at Wright-Patterson AFB. Mrs. Mearns waited 10 years and 349 days before learning that her husband had been killed in action in North Vietnam. In 1977, his remains were returned, along with those of 22 other Americans killed in North Vietnam.
Encouraged by government officials who supported their cause, Mrs. Stockdale and other military spouses formalized the League in 1970, incorporating it as the National League of POW/MIA Families. Mary Hoff, a Navy POW spouse and League member, saw the need for a symbol to ensure that Americans never forgot those still held as POWs or the remains of our fallen heroes. She reached out to a flag manufacturer, and together they designed the now-iconic POW/MIA flag. Today, the flag flies at government buildings across the country.
As military spouses, we often witness the POW/MIA Remembrance Ceremony at events. But after hearing the story behind the creation of this movement and the symbol of America’s commitment to POWs and MIAs, the ceremony holds even more significance for me after 33 years of serving alongside my husband in the Air Force and AFRC.
In 1973, 509 POWs were released from North Vietnam—332 from the Air Force, 149 from the Navy, and 28 from the Marines. The voices of the POW/MIA spouses played a crucial role in their return. Today, these spouses are being recognized for their sacrifices and advocacy by The League of Wives Memorial Foundation. The Foundation is fundraising to build the first-ever military spouse memorial statue, which will be dedicated on June 21 in Star Park, Coronado, CA. The bronze statue, featuring Mrs. Stockdale and three other female figures forming a circle, will overlook the Pacific Ocean, symbolizing the women waiting for their husbands' return. An open space in the circle is reserved for any military spouse to step into, allowing them to feel part of this enduring story.
Today, military spouses from all branches have a voice to improve the lives of our families. More recently, spouses have testified before Congress about concerns related to military housing and have successfully pushed for changes in professional licensing laws, easing the challenges of frequent relocations. Our ability to advocate for ourselves and our families today is thanks to the brave spouses who walked those same halls before us, making their voices heard for the first time.
League of Wives Memorial Project
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